A Public Rant

The disadvantage to a public blog is that it is....well...public. I've got a pretty big decision in front of me right now that I would love to rant and rave about, but I can't, for fear of who might read this. Crazy.

Sometimes I actually feel sorry for God. I know that sounds ridiculous, and that's because it is, but He really doesn't have a whole lot to work with. Think about it...He has given the sole responsibility to all of us broken, sinful, wicked, bent toward evil humans to share to other broken, sinful, wicked, bent toward evil humans how amazing He is. And, try as we might, I can't imagine that any of us ever get it right. None of us really have an absolute grasp on how BIG God is- if we did I don't think any of us would ever purposely sin, and yet all of us do it all of the time.

Most of us are so concerned by what we look like on the outside that we fail miserably when it comes to cleaning up our heart. And the big controversy is the fact that we don't HAVE to clean up our heart. God doesn't sit up there and say "Well Kim, I really want to hang out with you, but you've got a lot of crap going on right now. Maybe once you get that all fixed we can hang out. Talk to me next month." Jesus died for me, for how I am, RIGHT THIS SECOND. Not for the idea of who I can be. That's called grace. I don't surprise Him by my behavior, nor do I disappoint Him. To disappoint Him would mean that He expected something else and since He knows exactly what I am going to do at all times, He expects nothing less or more from me than what I give Him. That goes for you, too, by the way.

So when I say we need to be concerned with what is going on with our hearts, it isn't because we have to clean up for Jesus, it is because we should WANT to. I can't imagine Jesus is very happy about "Sunday Christians." You know the ones..... they go to church on Sunday and worship His name, only to completely forget about Him on Monday, in fact purposely sin against Him throughout the week until the next Sunday comes, when their hands go back in the air and they sing songs to Him for another hour. What is the point in that? You aren't tricking God, so you must be trying to trick those around you. Or maybe you are trying to trick yourself....

Jesus didn't surround Himself with those who always made the best decisions, who looked good, who said the right things, who had years of scholastic teaching pumped into their heads. In fact, His closest friends were arrogant, greedy, and at best, simple-minded. Not one of the 12 disciples went to school to learn about religion. They were all taught by Jesus himself. (BTW- we have that same opportunity...it's called reading the Bible.) The disciples got it wrong A LOT. But they kept coming back for more. Their beauty comes from their obedience and their willingness to learn. They failed, and they tried again. And again. That's what I want to do. I want to keep trying. If I become one of those people who think (or want people to think) that they have it all figured out, then I miss out completely on what it means to be a Christ follower. That seems like a pretty big miss- especially when that is what I say I am. "Do as I say and not as I do" should NEVER apply to a Christian.

I wish people would take into consideration their hearts and the hearts of others, instead of worrying about what they look like on the outside. Because when it is all said and done, you really aren't fooling anyone. Except maybe yourself.